If you’re a man looking for a lifestyle relationship – what is the best way of finding one?

IIs it to trawl the internet for Pro Dom websites and then fire off emails asking them to take you on as their private slave?

Well, before you start doing this, stop and think for a moment.

And put yourself in the pro dom’s shoes (boots)

There you are working happily at whatever job it is that you do. Out of the blue you get an email from a woman you have never met.

She tells you that because of your job, she has decided that you and she are going to be perfect together.

Do you say to yourself – ‘wow what an opportunity – l’ll get in touch with her immediately so we can start enjoying life together’

Or do you say ‘my God what a loony’ and hit the delete button?

If you do want a BDSM lifestyle relationship then the key to finding one lies in the word ‘relationship’ rather than ‘BDSM’ or ‘lifestyle’.

Because without a relationship you are not going to get ongoing BDSM from a lifestyler.

And there are no short cuts to finding a relationship.

There has to be mutual attraction, shared interests, similar background/upbringing and. that elusive extra, pheromones. Plus sexual compatibility of course. When most, or all, of these are present you will get a good relationship.

But you will not find a BDSM lifestyle relationship by sending out emails to pro doms,  hoping that some woman who has never met you, will want to get involved with you.

You are going to have to make an effort. Go to munches, clubs, fetish markets and other fetish events, these are places where dominant women will go and where you can meet them.

To find out about these lifestyle activities visit the Skin Two website (look upon it as your first step in the right direction)

And remember, if you are feeling absolutely desperate for domming then visiting a pro dom (before looking for a BDSM lifestyle relationship) is a very good idea. Because it will take the edge off your need and make you feel less desperate.

And there is nothing more off putting to a relationship than desperation.

(Rebecca Winter is not available for relationships but has helped numbers of  slaves who are looking for lifestyle relationships to achieve their goals)