Some just like to be secured in cock straps or cock and ball harnesses of various sorts or subjected to pleasant levels of electric stimulation. Others like it pretty severe.

One of the first toys I used was a parachute harness. I secured the slave with his legs apart, arms above his head and gripped the top of his ball sack with thumb and index finger, this forced the balls down out of the way so I could clip the parachute harness into place.

I never use parachute harnesses with really sharp bits of metal in them (in fact I think they should be banned from all working dungeons – because they can’t be sterilized) but I do like ones with studs. Next come the weights, its fun to add a bit more at a time, stopping occasionally to give the dangling weights a kick. The slave gasps and his erect cock leaps ever higher in response.

Another fun activity is to put the slave in suspension and then pass a rope around his cock and balls and use this to make him swing backwards and forwards.

You can also secure a slave just by using your fingers around his cock and balls. Here’s how.

Make him kneel down in front of you bottom in the air and chest on the floor (I call this slave position two). His legs should be wide enough apart for you to get your hand between them. Grab him around the top of his cock and balls and pull them towards you. This immobilises him. You can if you wish insert a finger up his arse hole and finger fuck him at the same time.

I call this human bondage – because all you need to use is your hand and he can’t move. You are doing much the same thing to him as you would if you put a humbler on him (another excellent piece of CBT equipment – there are two standard ones at the premises plus I have an ace up my sleeve – an electric one!

Of course there are huge numbers of other things you can do.

Nettles are good fun in season, then there is ice and hot wax, various small whips and paddles (designed for the purpose) and pegs of course.

These are excellent with a piece of thin leather strung through the top. Once you have added as many pegs as possible all the way around the outer edge of the slave’s ball sack you can rip them off by pulling on the cord. A second option is to pull half way around, then let him think about it, before doing the remainder.

Then there’s deep heat and deep freeze. Use with caution – some slaves react so strongly they have to rush off to the bathroom to remove it, leaving a bored Mistress pacing the dungeon waiting for them to return.
I thinks its psychological – as a fem dom friend of mine says, it doesn’t get hotter than hot – but I suspect that the slave imagines it will keep getting more intense – hence the panic. Deep freeze produces less dramatic effects than deep heat.

Then there’s electrical play of course. There are various different boxes you can buy. I have the e-stim (bought as a gift by slut Lolita – now owned by lifestyle Mistress Maria and renamed) and the Erostek. You can get all sorts of CBT equipment to use with these. The most recent fun item I got was from the e-stim people at Skin Two Expo. These are electrical tweezers. I bought them for NT but have found they are fun for CBT as well.

Another couple of really good items I got were little pads which you can put down the side of the cock and around the tip, you can then tease and torment your victim at will.

Then there are cock straps. A favourite of mine was a gift from slave Ian (thank you slave Ian) and came from Fettered Pleasures. It goes around both the cock and the balls and includes a ball divider.

The first strap goes around the top of the cock and balls. You can see the slave thinking to himself, ‘well that’s not too bad’. The next strap is secured behind the balls – and you can see the slave starting to feel it a bit (but still coping). The last strap is fun, it divides the balls and forces them through the remaining gaps. At this point the slave starts to *squeak quite loudly and thrash around a bit (make sure they are properly secured – the slave that is – not the straps).

More recently I’ve started using vacuum on slaves, ‘fascinating’ (to quote Mr Spock).

Mistress Rebecca Winter

*slaves are given safe words when first interviewed
**obviously this includes not doing any real damage!

IIs it to trawl the internet for Pro Dom websites and then fire off emails asking them to take you on as their private slave?

Well, before you start doing this, stop and think for a moment.

And put yourself in the pro dom’s shoes (boots)

There you are working happily at whatever job it is that you do. Out of the blue you get an email from a woman you have never met.

She tells you that because of your job, she has decided that you and she are going to be perfect together.

Do you say to yourself – ‘wow what an opportunity – l’ll get in touch with her immediately so we can start enjoying life together’

Or do you say ‘my God what a loony’ and hit the delete button?

If you do want a BDSM lifestyle relationship then the key to finding one lies in the word ‘relationship’ rather than ‘BDSM’ or ‘lifestyle’.

Because without a relationship you are not going to get ongoing BDSM from a lifestyler.

And there are no short cuts to finding a relationship.

There has to be mutual attraction, shared interests, similar background/upbringing and. that elusive extra, pheromones. Plus sexual compatibility of course. When most, or all, of these are present you will get a good relationship.

But you will not find a BDSM lifestyle relationship by sending out emails to pro doms,  hoping that some woman who has never met you, will want to get involved with you.

You are going to have to make an effort. Go to munches, clubs, fetish markets and other fetish events, these are places where dominant women will go and where you can meet them.

To find out about these lifestyle activities visit the Skin Two website (look upon it as your first step in the right direction)

And remember, if you are feeling absolutely desperate for domming then visiting a pro dom (before looking for a BDSM lifestyle relationship) is a very good idea. Because it will take the edge off your need and make you feel less desperate.

And there is nothing more off putting to a relationship than desperation.

(Rebecca Winter is not available for relationships but has helped numbers of  slaves who are looking for lifestyle relationships to achieve their goals)

It is about a pro dom and her client. Written first from her perspective, then from his, then back again, we watch the scene unfold through each of their eyes, as she takes control of him, makes him perform body worship, beats him and fucks him up the arse with a strapon.

‘I turn to make sure Scum is on all fours, the proper distance away and looking only at my knees or lower. This slave took to training better than any other I’ve known. He seems to have some magical rapport with my movements. We never bump into one another, or falter. He reflects me perfectly, and by doing so, completes me.’

‘She has held a little pool of lubricant in her hand, long enough for it to take the chill away. Now she lets it drip into the top of my crack and her gloved fingers begin to work it in.’

I won’t spoil it for you by telling you any more. It is an amazing story. Buy the Skin Two Yearbook and enjoy it for yourself.

Mistress Rebecca